In Pursuit of Happiness - Expressions n Me...

High on life, dreams, career oriented, deceived, restless ...I was ..

The gush of the high tides and the roar of the inner storm that was building a turmoil within me.. dis battle was a difficult one.. Felt like a warrior every day.. 

Then serenity touched me...  Not enforcing but influencing force.. 

Didn't temporarily cured me, but as a therapist healed me through...

Healed with it's power of tranquility, a soothing effect it left on me.. 

Not in a day but over months, and the power of healing was such immense that it sailed me through to resolve the turmoil, the dejection and be my self again .. 

That power doesn't needs any recognition or any marketing strategies to advertise.. 

as now, it' my alone.. simple, embodiment of fidelity and it's aura is magical.. 

It's  not a high profile addiction, it my essence of peace... 

It's not my life but the most beautiful part of me.. 

It gives me an unreasonable smile again, and keeping me to my roots, being myself.. 

I am in love with this power , this healing power which is now soo mine... 

Mine alone... I am marrying it, this divine power to  consummate my oneness with it forever... 

And this healing power is not being personified ...As it's too precious to be named here.. 

I love the way, you have made me yours and still letting me be "Me"..

And u r not "it" but best feeling should be felt and remain unspoken .. 

Thank you for making me alive again .. :) 

Me, Myself and Kanika

With a big smile on face..I roam around and a casual attitude I flaunt...

Inside a loner...

A loner who needs to be listened to but without words..

A loner who has to be taken care of but not made felt she is being taken care of..

Its difficult to be "Me" at times.. so random, so different and many a times unpredictable...

Sometimes I wish to be a free liberal bird who's horizons are way too high and sometimes a lil baby who wishes to stay in a protected shell..

Sometimes I yell, shout, abuse and laugh loud other times get into the blanket and sob..

A chirpy and irritating one sometimes and a quiet and sincere one at other..

A rough guy I dress up as sometimes and a peculiar gurl at others..

Movies, parties and night outs I crave for but a novel and myself I long for..

Naughty destructive brat who transforms to an obedient eldest child of the family in seconds and a playful kid in another few..

Me in different forms..Sometimes "me" confuses "me"..

Sometimes "me " makes me fall in love with "me" ..

Times "me" hates "me"..

but above all I wish to stay "me"..

Sleepy now...wish could write all night long ..pen down every though and every moment and get over with the storm that's building up inside ..

 

Tiumhi ho bandhu :) sakha tumhi..

Thousand words to say, but am quiet, Dunno where to start..Actually, dunno know what to write..
I dunno since when i have fell in love wid the quietness, Have no one around..
I have Changed for good or bad reasons but the beautiful thing about the change is that my wants are over..
It's beautiful when love for someone is dominant over the need for that person..Someone advised me once to  flow freely in the god's waves and i will get everything that's there in my destiny..
It is so amazing to have someone who is omnipresent, people say only god can be omnipresent but i disagree with this...
I feel good that i am able to listen to my heart and not my brain (As an experience, heart always have took the better decisions in life).
Life seems to be taking different turns and taking me to new directions, but i remember the point where i started, and as the world is not flat ..am, sure i will reach back to where i started upon completion of the journey..So, my dear ones please hang on there...God's just making me patient and wants me to wait for a while to be with you., I am just taking a walk around, because once i  return, and if i do not find you there..I will not force you to come back..
Always read.."Loving someone is magical if you do not expect in return" .. I use to wonder how this works as distance are bound to bring differences, but now as a grown individual and i understand the significance of the quote.. The only difficult part is when we stop giving love..I tried that for sometime and then realized the way it worsened things..So, eventually took a break from the fast paced life and decided to provide love to you forever as it keeps me healthy and fit..
Time changes and so does the reasons for happiness..A phone that made you smile earlier, may not bring the smile now..but then there is another phone that is bringing that smile back.. Evermore, Your smile is CONSTANT..That's what matters..!!
I have decided to be a happy individual who will keep giving love, because that is the only way that keeps me going..As it is my heart that gives me heartbeat and circulates blood for my being, not my brain and yeah i am a human, so i do miss certain things which i am sure will come back with time but till then i promise, that i will love you and whatever is inside me will be there forever and i will never bind you..
Lastly, this song will speak for me..

"Tu jeet meri, jug haar meri
Main hoon hi nahi iss duniya ki"

Birthday Note

I can keep talking all day but still not express myself..I am not a writer but on occasion of his birthday..Just a note of gratitude to him..Just an expression to let you know that I care..I care about that  someone who is always a phone call away..The one who soothes everythin..An embodiment of fidelity..Does generously for everyone and someone who is responsible of teaching me better values and difficult ways..The patience and serenity i have learnt from this someone...Someone who has been special  in his own ways.. May be not the guy next door but definitely someone you can look upto..It has been too long i have known you..Thanks for supporting all my blunders and being there always..Thanks for letting me take you for granted..Thanks for always having strength to hear the truth and stand by me ..Thanks for always being true..Loyalty, Honesty and support... cute, simple n dearest one forever..You hold a special respect ..Thanks a lot for everything..Thanks for Saving me when i am have been stuck in hell of things.."Happy Birthday Mr. someone"   I hope you get the best of everything in life..!! Lov ya loads..Tones of Hugs.

The Super Manager

I wish to write, pour all my thoughts down..express all in me but am not a professional writer, i scribble random thoughts with intent to just share my unsaid... 

Random thoughts and mixed emotions gushing out of me but there are no words to frame them and pen dem down..all i can do is listen to some songs and speak to miself...there is bitterness in me today, confusions which do not let me sleep.. unanswered questions which make me ponder over muuch..

trying to figure out the diffrences in people, understndin and analyzing thought processes.. to whm all i had been good n bad, to where to draw the line? but no answers..Figurin out importance of money and consequences of havin excess..the blessing of bein a female, the human brain and its non-functioning in rel tionships..How does it all works?? How did the creator did it all ??  My manager cant handle a team of 100 ..then how does god manages nth times the number 100, is management in his genes..??

Unreasonable magical evenings..

Just sitting by myself, alone at home..

Listened to this number below...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4jo_piZN8io

n a few more..

Recalling some memories of past..

Beautiful lyrics, makes me happy ..

Some evenings are unreasonably beautiful..so peaceful, so serene n so calm..

There is no one else around, It's just me by myself..

And i have never loved myself more

Nothing to talk about, no one to talk to.

I am all by myself today, in my own beautiful world where there is no space for anything except some beautiful memories, some amazing evenings i have spent, some precious moments with loved ones and only love..

I am happy, not expecting anything from anyone, am happy being with myself today..am happy being myself.

No meetings, no work, no bosses, no fights, no arguments...

I feel so pure, so close to god, so close to myself.

Definitely , there is magic in the air ..!! :)

Boys will be Boys..!!

He is a boy who's turning into a man.

A man who is still a boy and will always be.

He needs all your attention but when you give him, he will look at all, but not you.

He expects everything but will never admit it and rather pretend to be as carefree as he can.

He needs all the love but will never reciprocate in actions.

can be with all his friends and say anything to them, but when you do the same, he will hate it, shout but will never tell the correct reason he is shouting on you for..

He will walk in 5 directions always..Family, money, work, friends and you.

But trust me to get all first four in place, he will always need the last one's support.

He will fight with someone, get disappointed at work, loose money and hate his friends for something but will all come out in different forms to you. Then he will realise it after some days, say sorry, pamper you and again be the same and the viscous circle continues..

The more you away from him, the more he will need you and the more you go closer to him, he discovers you to be the reason for spoiling all.

He wants to celebrate all days, feels great when you remember all the dates, proud when you look great and on cloud 9 when you appreciate him but then it is again to stay for a while..if you celebrate all the days and remember all the dates, he will get irritated, a man inside him will tell him "how gurly it is..??''

When you look great all the time, he will loose interest and tells you "why do have to wear clothes like this?? Cant you be simple??"

When you provide him love and care all the time, understand him and obey all he says he finds it to complex.

You do things for another male friends and he will hate it to the core and then will start flirting with another girls and when sees you non-reactive will come and sit by you.

Though he claims to be brainy and matured but still he is a man, who is still a boy at heart..

He is a boy who needs you not to be apart.