Sunday, 19 January 2014

God and his forms...

Robbed a pencil box and a classmate's bag, coz he was showing me down, when I was five and lied my parents, and they slapped me took me to school, made me apologize infront of the complete assembly..being a rich father's pampered girl, choosing the right direction..I walked the opposite got so inculcated in me, that my wants became like a drug intoxication to me, until i got them...
Be it a car, a phone, any friend..If I had to get to get something or do something I had too and there was never any alternative for that..dunt know whether to blame my sun sign for it or my soul.. lavish bringing up and narrow escape worked as a tool and the practice of the same made me flawless in the same and it was soo in me, that it came naturally after a period of time, so, natural that i never realized in the intoxication the moral voices in head... A princes in my own world.. Never defined wrong or right.. Things were either my way or right..
As I grew up, the world instead of becoming a larger place, knitted better, n shrunk..those narrow escapes, those manipulations for intoxication of my wants n needs started making me loose things and people..but i never cared... though, not the courage but inner morality took a backseat and the fear n insecurity took the path to stand up for truth in bain.. but then god exists and has several forms and the sufferings started to surface..and today, it was the final hearing.. have lost a lot but none left with an impression but this one which has been made today, has overshadowed and has the vitality of all in one.. i am a sinner, but am amazed how i still had an angel loving me secretively, protecting me and now before leaving made me felt it's existence forever in a way that shook my morality, woke it, that i don't loose anything in life again.. what love !! what form !! I feel what's being torn and happy at the same time...Thank you angel.. As my commitment to u for lifetime or as a token for your sufferings, I will evolve as a better person, with a fair morality and truth ...!!
penning it here, accepting it here is just a vent..but i love u too my angel !! Forever.. though, trust is not what I will be able to once told me "years to build it and seconds to ruin" .. #TeachingForLife #FirstTeacherParents 

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